as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
