Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
