And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
