where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
