his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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