Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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