ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
