i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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