@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
