capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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