i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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