Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
