i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I would fuck him just for his dog
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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