I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
