i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
