I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
