She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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