I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
