And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
