you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
