we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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