My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
