6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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