Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
