I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
