OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
