i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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