dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
