it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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