Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
