I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
