i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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