Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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