bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
