so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
be right there i have to get my cape
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
