My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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