he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
