Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
