Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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