Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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