I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
