these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
