Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I believe in your delicious
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
