Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
