Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
