i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
