He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
