Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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