so that wasnt chicken after all
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I am available for nakedness
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
