I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
