U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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