Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
