You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
