Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
